Like it Knew it Was Time To Start Things Over Again

So homework this week was to learn to love my body again.  I kinda hadn’t realized I had stopped, or that it was something I really needed to work on, but the truth is, I realize lately just how disconnected I am from myself physically.  Sometimes when I’m lying in bed, I have to move my legs because I can’t feel them anymore.  I literally forget they’re even there.  And when I start to feel, well, I just want it to go away.  And I think about how sometimes the best part about Ambien is the “out of body” feeling you get with it.   And that’s what I want… out of body.

I wasn’t sure how to write about this,because I realize it’s an issue, but not one I can connect with and process very well yet.  But I came across a song (of course, in a fanvid) and it just really fit.  So I’m going to post the lyrics first, then include a link to the fanvid, just cause.  But I love this song now.  The song is called “Daisy” by Brand New.

I’m a mountain that has been moved
I’m a river that is all dried up
I’m an ocean nothing floats on
I’m a sky that nothing wants to fly in

I’m a sun that doesn’t burn hot
I’m a moon that never shows its face
I’m a mouth that doesn’t smile
I’m a word that no one ever wants to say

I’m a mountain that has been moved
I’m a fugitive that has no legs to run
I’m a preacher with no pulpit
Spewing a sermon that goes on and on

Well, if we take all these things and we bury them fast
And we pray that they turn into seeds, to roots and then grass
It’d be all right, it’s all right, it’d be easier that way

Or if the sky opened up and started pouring rain
Like it knew it was time to start things over again
It’d be alright, it’s alright, it’d be easier that way

Well, if we take all these things and we bury them fast
And we pray that they turn into seeds, to roots and then grass
It’d be all right, it’s all right, it’d be easier that way

Or if the sky opened up and started pouring rain
Like it knew it was time to start things over again
It’d be alright, it’s alright, it’d be easier that way

I underlined the last bit,because i think for me anyway, that’s the real point of the song.  Definitely I feel the the river that has all dried up right now,but the idea that the grass can still grow, that things can start over again…. gives me hope.  And hope is a good thing to feel right now.

This video is a SPN video about the character Dean, edited by k9lover27

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