Disclaimer

I have no idea what I’m about to type.  I’ve been wanting to write here for a long time, but when I think about what I will write, I just get so overwhelmed with topics and then fall into old patterns of holding them all too closely.  AND, I realized a while ago that I may have made a mistake with this blog.  When I started it, I was so excited about it and felt so empowered by it, I couldn’t help telling people… even though I wanted to be able to write an anonymous blog.  And I told people I trust entirely and love very dearly.  Not too many, just those I wanted to be able to share more of myself with.  And I thought that would be ok.  And really, it probably has been.  For them.  But I’ve found myself wanting to write things that I don’t necessarily want known in real life.  Sometimes I want to write about darkness and the unpretty things that never can be made pretty, no matter how much therapy I dress them up in.  And I fear what these people will think.  What they will feel.  How they will see me.  How they will interpret what I say.  How they might worry.

To be clear, this is about me and my fears.  Not any shortcomings of those who might read this, knowing the person (me) behind the words.  But I need this blog.  I need this space.  Because I don’t have another one like it.  And this has to be the one space in my life where I don’t edit, where I don’t dress up, where I don’t worry that the truth is too ugly to say.  I need this for myself.  I don’t want to ask anyone not to read.  But here’s my disclaimer from here on out:  You may not always like what you read.  You may hate knowing I feel a certain way.  You may strongly object to my language.  You might misinterpret things, so please keep an open mind.  It is very likely that I will write about past experiences in my life that some of you might have shared, but that’s part of the process.  This is my space, but I shared it with you because I trust you and I know you care about me.

So read on at your own risk 🙂  I make no guarantees about anything from here on out.  But I don’t want to spend any more time worrying about what anyone will think about the words I choose.  It’s not a good habit for me!

No fun video today, sorry!  Just wanted to get back on this horse, and well, I guess this was as good a place as any to start writing again.  Probably the best place.  Hopefully I find myself able to write and share more frequently from here on out.  Thanks to all for taking the time to read!

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. kat
    Sep 06, 2014 @ 12:33:28

    i too find this a one of a kind space to say the things i hold inside as deep secrets that i don’t necessarily want those in the real world to know. i hope this space helps you too.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  2. ccchanel41
    Sep 11, 2014 @ 17:47:31

    Thank you for this. I know you wrote it for yourself, but I felt it spoke so much of how I feel. Thank you for replying what you did on my last blog. I will reply when I get my time to go there, which is usually later at night. Your comment was exactly true, and what I needed to hear. This post is what I needed to hear. It is courageous to tell others and share your blog, as you have, that you know. I cannot. This was just so good. I am anxious to be able to read all of your blog. -CC

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  3. kmaramarie
    Sep 15, 2014 @ 04:55:53

    I am very much looking forward to reading more of your blog too CC. Thanks so much for reading through and commenting so much on my blog- I’m glad to be learning more about you!

    Like

    Reply

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