Umm… for poop’s sake!

So I’m going to preface this post and tell you its about ostomy stuff and poop!  Just so you’re prepared…. i planned to write a  lot more about the ibd stuff in the beginning but right now i hate my ostomy so i haven’t wanted to write about it.   But since I’m awake. …
Man i hate nights like these. .. seems i can’t sleep no matter what.   And it’s worse when I’m not at my own home cause i have to worry about everyone else who is sleeping.  I can’t just get up and watch tv or do whatever.  And of course i made plans to have lunch with my grandma tomorrow so i was kind of counting on sleeping regular hours so i could get up in time.   Oh well. .. no wishes being granted over here!
So ostomy talk.  Probably one of the reasons I’m not relaxing so well tonight is because i had a major ostomy problem last night.  See, sometimes i have to empty it more often than others, but usually at least a couple times a night.  So when i am sleeping well, it’s harder to wake up when i need to.   Usually my brain figures it out after a bit and i get business done.  Last night i was pretty groggy when i sorta woke up and realized how bad my bag was ballooning.   It took me a bit to come to enough to realize that it needed to be emptied like NOW.  When i realized i was in a sort of precarious  position, i carefully tried to move out of bed and get to the bathroom.   But as soon as i was sitting upright i heard and felt a big “pooofffff” as the thing basically blew up around the bottom adhesive.   So there i was, damn it, a big mess, and i still had to get to the bathroom to stop the leakage and clean up.   Which, by the time that is done,  I’m wide awake.  No going back to sleep for a while after that.  Plus again,  I’m not home,  so my  supplies and things aren’t as organized as they would be at home.
Not the first time this has happened but so far the worst.   And it’s tough to let yourself sleep when you’re worried you’ll sleep too deep and miss that Window when you need to get up.   Now that I’m on 2 klonopin a night, it’s even harder.
And to make things even weirder?  Right now i totally feel like i gotta poop.  Which is ridiculous cause i got no pipes down there.   But my brain doesn’t seem to get it yet.  So I’m lying awake stressing about another accident and wishing i could poop.  What a weird life.

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. kat
    Mar 17, 2015 @ 14:35:02

    nighttime is a particularly tricky time for ostomy care. im so sorry you had such an awful night, especially away from home. i hope the coming nights are better!

    Liked by 1 person


  2. a nose that is maori
    Mar 22, 2015 @ 02:29:12

    Wow. I’ve been sitting here for a few minutes after taking in all that you have so bravely put out here and I’m just stunned. I’m stunned that you have the gumption to keep on keeping on. I haven’t read any back entries to your journal here to know much about you and what happened for you to have an Ostomy etc, however I want you to know that I am seriously in awe of everything you stand for, of everything you achieve, of everything you’ve been through and for the most, still having to go through.

    I can’t imagine what that must have been like, having your bag burst like that. And on top of that, all the effort of having to clean yourself up while the rest of the household sleeps on.


    Liked by 1 person


    • kmaramarie
      Apr 05, 2015 @ 08:17:52

      Yeah, it’s a life changer for sure. Some days i deal with it better than others. Thanks so much for reading so much of my blog and always sharing your thoughts and encouragement. You sound pretty amazing yourself 🙂



      • a nose that is maori
        Apr 06, 2015 @ 22:21:49

        Thank you. I have a pretty big story too. I keep a private journal on and have recently created another one that I am wanting to keep public. When I’ve finally got the time for it and begin writing, would you like the url for it?


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