So today is it. 17yrs. I hate the word “anniversary”… I joked in the therapy the other day that it was the “rape-iversary”… but that’s not exactly a term you throw around casually either. But I need a name for today. Everyone else celebrates May Day… but for me. Nope. Both raped then years later hospitalized with IBD on this exact date. I thought about calling it “Fuckit Day”… but my too literal brain says no. I’m thinking I’ll just be like Groot, but instead say “Hulk Smash!” all day. Seriously… looking for suggestions. I want to hear them all!
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May 01, 2015 @ 09:28:32
So weird I was just going to email you last night to check on you!
do you want angry names or peaceful names? I think this one is so fucking tough. Really part of as I have been learning for me, is looking within..I hate it when people say that to me. I hate looking at me. Within me. But support is needed. Always.
Hmmm..Warrior Day? Or maybe not even put a day in the name. Well, no you need Day in there. something with Warrior, Conqueror, Ballcrusher, DarkAngelDefender, I mean I can come up with more…
Love you all my hearts..xxxxxx
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May 05, 2015 @ 06:35:59
Thanks for thinking of me. I have been feeling bit bad about posting depressing stuff then disappearing. Its actually been a tough couple of months. I tend to go way deep into my shell and not come out for anything when I’m feeling that. Not sure it’s over but there are things I need to write about so hopefully I’ll be back soon. As for needing a name for the day? Frustrating thing is that I had reached a point years ago where the day could come and go, I could be aware but not treat it as any other day. After getting sick and spending my first er trip for the UC in the ER on the same Damn night? Too much coincidence. Now the day comes and I get pissed at all I feel that’s been taken. I DID make plans to see Avengers so that gave me something to look forward to. That helped. Still not sure on a name but I am a big fan of Dark Angel the TV show. .. so maybe DA day. And I can try to be ass-kicking Max for a day, huh? Love you lots dear, been missing you. …
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May 05, 2015 @ 07:00:00
hey don’t feel bad..i know all about shells.
if u ever need me..u know where to reach me/us….
no..no coincidence…but hey, u don’t need a name..only if u want one…u lived it..lived thru it..and are conquering it..
me, i have been learning we can only do day by day…sometimes hour by hour, minute by minute…
always thinking of u….
u kick ass in my book all day every day…
love u much.. peace -alex
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May 11, 2015 @ 16:52:19
well you kick ass in MY book! Thanks for all the support you send. I love you ALL ❤
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May 11, 2015 @ 22:56:34
“The day I kicked serious arse!”
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