Precious Things

Brain Fog and Chronic Illness. – http://www.inflamed-and-untamed.com/post/141447361642

Would you care more about college sexual assaults if they were bear attacks? – http://wp.me/p4Ge9e-14F

I’ll give you your second reblogging! I agree with pretty much everything you’ve said here. For me- and I try not to have many concrete definitions or ideas about what the show is saying or where is going, but I think the show has always been about choosing love. Even if it can be destructive… choosing love will always be the more powerful thing. And it sucks that sometimes good things (Kevin, Charlie, etc.) get destroyed along the way. I don’t always like it, but I feel like consistently the show has always been about love being the more powerful choice. And while I feel like on one side they’ve shown God staying out of it all, they’ve also shown God to intervene more than once to put that choice in Sam and Dean’s hands. I kind of feel (and hope) that this might once again be a similar situation. I think (especially after Fan Fiction) God is still kind of keeping a close eye on Sam and Dean, and still ultimately giving them that choice to make. And I think it’s the choice he wants them to make. That even though the consequences may be harsh, it’s true to who they are as people and when they are given the choice (as themselves) it’s who he wants them to be. Even their losses are about love. Consider, if you’ve seen Torchwood, COE, do we want either of those characters to make the choice Jack does? Not that I’m critical of that choice, COE is an entirely different story and Jack, an entirely different character. But do any of us actually want to see Sam or Dean make a choice like that? I just don’t think that’s what the show is about. I think it’s ALWAYS ultimately going to be about choosing love. And I agree, I think in the end they’re either fighting together as a team, continuing that mission, or they’re going out together.
As for next season? I’m kind of hoping this gives them a chance to bring back Chuck and Gabriel, and maybe even Lucifer, because, AWESOME, right? Anyway, I got a bit wordy adding my 2 or 3 cents, but I love what you wrote! (And thanks for checking out my blog, it’s what brought me to yours! )

So today is it.  17yrs.  I hate the word “anniversary”… I joked in the therapy the other day that it was the “rape-iversary”… but that’s not exactly a term you throw around casually either.  But I need a name for today.  Everyone else celebrates May Day… but for me.  Nope.  Both raped then years later hospitalized with IBD on this exact date.  I thought about calling it “Fuckit Day”… but my too literal brain says no.  I’m thinking I’ll just be like Groot, but instead say “Hulk Smash!” all day.  Seriously… looking for suggestions.  I want to hear them all!

Things I Am Living For:
   – to see my neices grow up
   – I made my husband a promise
   – teeny tiny glimpses of hope
   – I just HAVE to see how the story ends in Supernatural… (yes this is a real reason.  Heaven may not have television!)
   – I really want to want to

Short list, but I’m hanging on to it.

So I’m going to preface this post and tell you its about ostomy stuff and poop!  Just so you’re prepared…. i planned to write a  lot more about the ibd stuff in the beginning but right now i hate my ostomy so i haven’t wanted to write about it.   But since I’m awake. …
=_=_=
Man i hate nights like these. .. seems i can’t sleep no matter what.   And it’s worse when I’m not at my own home cause i have to worry about everyone else who is sleeping.  I can’t just get up and watch tv or do whatever.  And of course i made plans to have lunch with my grandma tomorrow so i was kind of counting on sleeping regular hours so i could get up in time.   Oh well. .. no wishes being granted over here!
So ostomy talk.  Probably one of the reasons I’m not relaxing so well tonight is because i had a major ostomy problem last night.  See, sometimes i have to empty it more often than others, but usually at least a couple times a night.  So when i am sleeping well, it’s harder to wake up when i need to.   Usually my brain figures it out after a bit and i get business done.  Last night i was pretty groggy when i sorta woke up and realized how bad my bag was ballooning.   It took me a bit to come to enough to realize that it needed to be emptied like NOW.  When i realized i was in a sort of precarious  position, i carefully tried to move out of bed and get to the bathroom.   But as soon as i was sitting upright i heard and felt a big “pooofffff” as the thing basically blew up around the bottom adhesive.   So there i was, damn it, a big mess, and i still had to get to the bathroom to stop the leakage and clean up.   Which, by the time that is done,  I’m wide awake.  No going back to sleep for a while after that.  Plus again,  I’m not home,  so my  supplies and things aren’t as organized as they would be at home.
Not the first time this has happened but so far the worst.   And it’s tough to let yourself sleep when you’re worried you’ll sleep too deep and miss that Window when you need to get up.   Now that I’m on 2 klonopin a night, it’s even harder.
And to make things even weirder?  Right now i totally feel like i gotta poop.  Which is ridiculous cause i got no pipes down there.   But my brain doesn’t seem to get it yet.  So I’m lying awake stressing about another accident and wishing i could poop.  What a weird life.