Not an angry girl

lyrics: 
i am not a pretty girl
that is not what i do
i ain’t no damsel in distress
and i don’t need to be rescued
so put me down punk
maybe you’d prefer a maiden fair
isn’t there a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere

i am not an angry girl
but it seems like i’ve got everyone fooled
every time i say something they find hard to hear
they chalk it up to my anger
and never to their own fear
and imagine you’re a girl
just trying to finally come clean
knowing full well they’d prefer you
were dirty and smiling

and i am sorry
i am not a maiden fair
and i am not a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere

and generally my generation
wouldn’t be caught dead working for the man
and generally i agree with them
trouble is you gotta have yourself an alternate plan
and i have earned my disillusionment
i have been working all of my life
and i am a patriot
i have been fighting the good fight
and what if there are no damsels in distress
what if i knew that and i called your bluff?
don’t you think every kitten figures out how to get down
whether or not you ever show up

i am not a pretty girl
i don’t want to be a pretty girl
no i want to be more than a pretty girl

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Schooled by Shirley Manson

So, this is a super quick post… MUCH going on in my head these last few days…. SO MUCH.  Things are shifting and just stuff I was NOT expecting right now.  It’s good though.  But anyway, watched a great vid last night – Shirley Manson talking about getting old and fear.  Totally got to give myself this pep talk more often!

Just a little something

So, husband had to go out of town for 2 weeks for work.  Which of course means I need to arrange babysitting for myself since I can’t stay home alone like that.  So I spent spent a couple days with the nieces (yay), then caught a ride to my parents house for the next couple of weeks.  In just the last couple days I have seen family and friends and have actually had a number of good experiences.

I’ve had a lot of things I’ve wanted to say.  As I’ve said before, I survive by trying to go unnoticed.  But I’ve been opening my mouth a lot the last couple of days, including a very loud conversation with my parents, grandparents and aunt about gay rights today.  I was pretty much on my own side, which I expected.  I did not expect any minds to change and no one was angry, but it felt so great to speak my mind so unexpectedly and to just feel honestly me!  I don’t know how anyone else felt about it later, and it kinda doesn’t matter?  Mostly, I’m just so high on being me for once.

Also, my aunt thinks I’m whimsical.  She meant it as an absolute compliment and I absolutely took it as one.  Really, one of the nicest things I’ve heard about myself in a long long time.

The Sound of My Heart

I don’t know if anything has ever touched me so deeply,  If you could hear my heart… This is her song.  “The Heart Asks Pleasure First – The Promise” by Michael Nyman from “The Piano.”

I love this song so much that I continually play it badly on the piano every chance I get.  It would be awesome to master someday and let the song flow from my body itself.  But for now…

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